Sheer Determination

Have you ever watched a race before and wondered what goes through the mind of a runner before he takes off down the track? Is he focused on the finish line, or is he simply taking one step at a time? What happens when he gets tired and feels like giving up? How does he push on to the end? These questions, and many more, have been on my mind lately because I am trying to learn how to progress past things that have become horrible habits in my life.

I have a friend who runs long distance marathons, and I decided to ask her what she does to keep herself in a positive mindset so she can press on and reach the finish line. She explained to me that it all comes down to “believing in yourself,” and “When the crowds and other runners fade away during a race, it is sheer determination that gets you through and across the line.” After hearing her explanation of a runner’s mindset, I began to understand how I would go about progressing past my horrible habits.

One of my horrible habits is eating too many sweets. I have an addiction to sugar. The sweeter the better is the way I see it. Eating sugar helps me cope with the rest of my problems when I get worried, stressed, or anxious. I basically medicate myself because, in that moment, sweets help me “feel better.” Yes, sugar is a real addiction, and after reading about it, I learned that sugar is as addictive as heroine. When I’m eating sweets, it relieves my mind like pain pills relieve a drug addict. The horrible part is eating sweets doesn’t do me any good because I feel terrible the next day. I have a headache and I beat myself up over what I’ve done.

Now, I didn’t get this way over night. I didn’t start eating a lot of sweets at once. It took time. I slowly progressed towards it. I told myself, “Amanda, you like sweets way too much to find the balance in the way you eat them now. You can practice progression in this area when you choose to. When you want to stop, you can stop.” I basically compromised with myself time and time again, and now I have an addiction.

At first, I was scared to death. I began to fear my addiction to sugar because I didn’t know how I was going to stop it. I feared I would gain all my weight, which I worked so hard to lose, back. I became a slave to my own thought process and began to obsess over it. I made a calendar and told myself for 30 days I won’t eat any sweets. I talked to my sister and hoped she would help hold me accountable. I even tired to fast for three days in hopes that I could get the sugar out of my body and start fresh. Unfortunately, none of these things worked, but then I remembered what my friend told me about running a race. I must have sheer determination to finish the race, even when I feel as though I can’t; I must keep running because I can.

To me, sheer determination means I must decide in my mind that I am going to accomplish what I’ve started and overcome my horrible habits, and then I must remain focused on maintaining my pace. I believe sheer determination is a choice because no one can stop my sugar addiction. I am in control of what I put in my mouth. Sometimes this can be difficult because my body is craving sugar, but I believe sheer determination is what will push me to race past my addiction and help me find a healthy balance. I also know I can listen to the Spirit. He is willing to instruct me on how to race past my addiction, just like He is willing to help you.

I believe many Christians I know are struggling with horrible habits too. Little parts of their life they would like to omit. I believe too many Christians have trouble admitting these horrible habits because then someone will know they have a weakness. Who cares? We all have weaknesses. Thank God we have strengths to overcome our weaknesses. We have the Spirit, our greatest strength, pushing us to finish if we will simply listen to Him.

As Christians, we must be transparent and real with one another. We must realize we all have horrible habits in our life that need to be broken, and until we can be real and admit we have a problem, chances are, we will not progress past our horrible habits. We will simply stay in the same cycle we are in because we love what medicates us too much. It’s sad we, as Christians, have trouble relying on the Spirit. Someone we should communicate with on a moment-by-moment basis gets ignored because we would rather cope than have the sheer determination to progress towards the finish line.

Today, I hope you can target the horrible habits you might have in your life. You could be irresponsible, have trouble managing your time, or have a sugar addiction like me. What ever your horrible habit is decide today that you are going to have sheer determination to finish the race, and remember, if you listen the Spirit He is always willing to help you.

Learning How to Trust In Your Best Friend:

Think of your best friend for a moment. Why is he or she your best friend? Is it because they know you better than anyone on the planet? Is it because they make you laugh so hard your stomach hurts? Is it because you can rely on them whenever you are having a bad day? Best friends are people in our lives we appreciate and respect. I am learning I don’t have many good friends, nor do I know how to make good friends. I am trying to learn how to make friends though. I am learning that part of friendship is complete honesty, trust, and respect. I believe those three things are vital for secrets to be held in a friendship, and at times, secrets can be difficult to keep.
Fortunately, I have one friend in my life I know will not tell my secrets or judge my choice. He will be my best friend regardless of what I do, say, or think. He is the one I can confide all of my secrets in. I know I can trust this person more than I can trust anyone because this person doesn’t disappoint me. He reveals my flaws to me through honesty, and then he guides me into truth as I learn how to conquer those things. I can trust him all the time. The person I am referring to is someone I am still learning how to trust after years of friendship. He is known as the Holy Spirit.

Trusting the Holy Spirit has been difficult for me to learn because I am a hardheaded, controlling person. Instead of relaxing and allowing life to move as the Spirit tells me, I become impatient and try to dictate things in my life. I try to figure it all out.  Relaxing my mind is easier said than done. I want a plan now, but when we are in a friendship with the Holy Spirit it is important for us to just “chill out.” When we choose not to listen to the Holy Spirit’s leading, we are controlling life because we choose what we want over what He says is best. Being a control freak is straining on a friendship. It can cause problems and confusion.

In friendship, gaining and maintaining trust takes time and patience. It doesn’t happen in an instance. When we try to control our lives we don’t fully trust the Holy Spirit and this will cause a problem for us. I believe trusting the Holy Spirit should be an easy thing when done the proper way. We must listen, respond, and the trust the Spirit. It takes two people to trust. Trust requires the proper amount of balance.

The Spirit was explaining to me the other day that I trust Him, but I don’t trust myself. I don’t trust my confidence to get things done. He will speak things to me and in my mind I trust myself to get those things done, but in reality, I don’t trust myself enough to follow through. I know what the Spirit tells me is the truth, but trusting in myself means putting myself out there and potentially failing. I fear failure, so it is easier for me to trust Him in my mind and take control in reality. In the end, I set myself up for disaster because I know what to do, but won’t do it.

I hope today you can begin to listen to the Holy Spirit. He is speaking to you through everything around you, but you must be aware of those things. Once your best friend (the Holy Spirit) has spoken, it is then time to respond to what He said. We must respond without controlling, and once we respond, we must trust Him. We must trust that what He spoke is truth and guidance that our closest friend would give. We also must trust in ourselves to follow through with what the Spirit says. I believe trusting the Spirit isn’t enough if we do not trust ourselves in.

Learning to Maintain the Balance
If you’ve ever seen the construction of a house, you know one of the stages it goes through is the “framing stage.” This is when the house looks like it has been put together with toothpicks. Wooden boards frame out the areas where rooms will soon appear. My dad is a homebuilder, and as a child I was frequently around the construction of his houses. I can remember my dad walking on the wooden boards of a house as the house was in its "framing stage." Some boards were high off the ground, while others were lower and easier to walk on. I always admired my dad and thought he was magnificent because of his balancing ability on the boards. In my mind, he had practically perfected a skill only few could develop. At a very young age, he taught my sister and me how to balance on the boards too.

In the beginning, my balance wasn't  good, and the boards I was practicing on were 2-3 feet off the ground, but I held my dad’s hands very tightly as he guided me down the beam. He was good at assisting me in something I didn’t have much experience doing. In these moments, walking on a board suspended in the air was something new and thrilling to me. It was all a wonderful adventure, but I didn’t realize all the practice ahead of me, and the mistakes I would make as I learned a new skill.

As a got older, I was able to walk across higher beams without my dad holding my hands; however, he was still guiding me with his voice. He coached me along the way and told me what I should do next. Sometimes, I stumbled or wobbled on the board, but it was in these moments, I had to “balance check” myself by holding my arms out by my side because I didn’t want to fall off and get hurt. Of course, I had my moments when I fell off, but my dad was right there to help me get back up and try again. A lot of times I whined and complained because I feared getting up again. When I did this my dad didn’t force me get back on. He simply waited patiently and continued to show me the importance of getting back up. Today, I can walk on a board pretty well. I still have my arms my side at times for balance, and I know if I fall off I must choose to get back on and find the balance again.

In life, I believe we are walking on different boards. We are learning how to balance situations as they come into our life. Balance is learning how to harmonize parts of our life we want to change. It is like finding the “happy medium” between good and bad or right and wrong. I believe as we practice balance we learn how to think clearer and live fuller. Balance means we’ve wobbled into the good and the bad. We understand and, hopefully, have experienced both. Now we must use the wisdom we have gained to walk on the board with confidence, knowing we will succeed in that area.
Clearly, we are all walking across different boards in different areas of our life. When we begin the balance, the Holy Spirit is with us holding our hands just like my dad did for me. God is our Father, and He loved us enough to send Jesus to die for our sins so the Holy Spirit may live inside of us. The Holy Spirit is our best friend who helps us discover balance in our life. We tend to hold his hands at first while we “test the water” and see if we like it. I believe in this stage, we are most confident because we are almost assured we won’t fall.

Over time, as we progress at balancing, we don't need to lean on him as much. This is when he is standing back and guiding us like my dad did for me. We will wobble and stumble at times, and we might have to place our arms by our side to “balance check,” but we don’t fall. Sometimes when we wobble back and forth things can be tough. We want to listen to the Holy Spirit, but instead we do what we want. We do what we feel is necessary for the moment and we begin to lose our footing on the board. When we begin to lose our footing, something incredible happens. We have the choice to correct our mistake in an instant and practice balance again.

Now, what happens if we fall? What happens if we fear getting back on the board because we might get hurt again? I believe when we completely lose balance the Holy Spirit won't make us get up until we are ready. Sometimes, we are confident and ready, but other times we like staying down. We enjoy the place we are in because we are experiencing something we have never felt before. We don’t want to change that part of us yet. I believe, in these moments, no one should push us to get up because we have to want it. We have to realize the imbalance in our life. We must choose to get back on the board and practice the balance again. I believe we can know, see, and understand the imbalances in our life without actually realizing we need to practice balance.

When we do fall off the board and lose balance, like I did as a child, whining and complaining can become an issue. The Holy Spirit will accept both because he is waiting patiently for us to be quiet and say we need help. He is always ready and waiting for us to get up, brush ourselves off, and hope back on the board. I believe He wants to guide us back to a place of balance. He is ready to explain to us the reason we need to find the balance. He will never push us; he simply guides and directs us. 

Once we finally decide to get back on the board, we must have the confidence to balance again without fear. We could always fall off again, but that's part of learning balance. When we practice balance, we have the possibility of losing it again in the future, but we can always get back up and listen to the Holy Spirit directing us. I believe when we lose balance in an area we’ve already practiced we have the opportunity to get back up faster because we have already experienced those things.

Learning balance is like walking on a board suspended in the air. We might stumble and fall, but the Holy Spirit is there to guide us back to where we need to be when we are ready. Balance, is meeting in the middle and discovering harmony. We must have just enough of one thing and just enough of another so balance will be easy. I believe we will continue to practice balance in areas of our life until the day we die. Some areas of balance will have to be revisited, and others we will balance very well our entire life. We must always remember the Holy Spirit is there never pushing us, but always guiding us on what to do next. He desires to show us how to maintain balance in every area of our life.

Love and Blessings,
Amanda Nicole

Conviction v. Guilt: Simple, but precise warnings and feelings

The weather report has just been issued: a hurricane is brewing in the Gulf of Mexico.  Dangerously powerful, the storm’s strength is increasing as it moves closer to land.  The states of Alabama, Louisiana, and Texas have issued a state of emergency.  All the major news stations are covering the storm’s path, and they are declaring it “the storm of the century.” They are strongly encouraging everyone in the storm’s path to evacuate immediately.  It is now each person’s choice to obey the warning and leave or ignore the warning and risk his or her life.

Most people know that when a hurricane brews, the weather and news channels always track the storm’s path. The weathermen, with the help of technology, determine where the hurricane will make landfall, and it is their duty to warn the people to evacuate.  It is also their listeners’ job to heed the warning and obey.
In life, listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit is very similar. As Christians, we hear about the power of a conviction very often, but we do not know what a true conviction is.  A conviction can be defined as a simple but precise warning.  The Holy Spirit warns us in advance because He wants us to have plenty of time to evacuate the situation before we walk into danger or sin.  He wants us to have plenty of time to make a route to evacuate the storm’s dangerous path.

Convictions come in several different ways.  When the Holy Spirit convicts, He could use dreams, visions, other people, or things around us, or He could speak to us directly.  In whichever form He chooses, the Holy Spirit sends a conviction before a “hurricane,” a terrible situation that can be tracked long before its arrival.  The Holy Spirit will warn us well-enough in advance through a dream, for instance, to be careful about a certain potentially-dangerous situation, habit, or person.  He shows us we must be cautious about our actions or our involvement with someone or something, because it could lead to more trouble than we need.

Another type of conviction would be similar to the warnings that come before a “tornado,” a storm that happens very quickly, leaving us little time to prepare before they touch down. When an area comes under tornado watch, we know the conditions are right for a tornado to touch down.  Once a tornado has been spotted, the weather channel issues a tornado warning.  We know it is wise to go and take cover, but taking cover does not always guarantee our safety from the storm.

In the same way, the Holy Spirit warns us of tornado-like disasters. I believe these warnings are prompt and precise.  When He speaks a warning like this, our listening skills must be sharp because He truly does speak in a “still, small voice.”  For instance, a few days ago, I broke the dress code at my school.  An authority wrote me up three times, and I have work detail, meaning I have to work two hours in the cafeteria as punishment.  If I had been in tune with the Holy Spirit’s voice, I would have heard Him convicting me before I put my clothes on; but I wasn’t listening, and I ignored the warning.  I then had to respond to my authorities.   Now listening to the Holy Spirit, I responded to authority by obeying; I did not sin, but I could have.  It was very unwise of me to ignore the warning the Holy Spirit was trying to give me.  Had I listened, I would have been safe from potential disaster.

Now, what do we do if we ignore the warning and we do find ourselves in the whirling mist of disaster?  Does the Holy Spirit leave us?  When we wake up and survey the damage the storm has caused—the one that could’ve been avoided if we’d only listened—do we find that judgment has come and He’s left us?  Our houses, businesses, cars, and even lives lie in shambles.  Has our relationship with Him been destroyed too?  No.  The awesome truth is even after we sin by ignoring His warnings, the Holy Spirit remains with us.  He is faithful, and our disobedience does not change His character or affect His decision to love us.  If we have sinned, we have sinned; we have not caused Him to leave us or to love us any less.  We made a mistake, and we should confess our sins, change our mindset, and then accept His freely given mercy.  We should say “Yes!” to His mercy and scream a big “No!” to ensuing guilt that does not come from our forgiving God.  Our God loves us deeply and forgave our every sin.  Did He not prove that by giving up His only Son Jesus?  He did this so that He could then fill us with His Holy Spirit, who remains with us as a guide, a best friend, one who convicts us of both sin and truth.  Our God is truly gracious.

If I allowed myself, I could have felt great guilt over ignoring the Holy Spirit and then getting work detail.  Remember that an earthquake sends terror through the minds of many, but there can be an aftershock that typically rattles the ground in a much smaller manner.  The earthquake is an awful disaster, and the mess can be cleaned up in time without worry, but the aftershock is like guilt.  Guilt rattles the ground reminding us of what we did.  It places negative thoughts in the mind and damaging emotions in the heart that can cause us to relive that moment in regret. Guilt is simply a feeling we experience after we have sinned or done something unwise, and we must remember that guilt comes from Satan, our “Accuser.”

We too often feel badly and beat ourselves up over something we did wrong, but we shouldn't.  If we know the Holy Spirit well enough to hear his warning, we should know God well enough to know He is a forgiving God.  He is a God who loves unconditionally.  His grace is so deep that the depths cannot be comprehended.  It is our responsibility to realize we ignored the warning, but we must understand our forgiveness is right there.  All we have to do is ask.  We don't have to run and tell our pastors, cell leaders, friends, family, and ten other people. We must simply apologize to our God and allow Him to forgive us and help us rise from the fall and keep going—without the guilt that so taunts and destroys us.

It's that simple.  God didn't make it hard.  He made it easy.  He made it so we could have His Spirit living inside of us.  The Holy Spirit, who is the Spirit of all truth, knows we are about to walk into danger, and it is His duty to warn us.  Just like the weathermen, He is always going to help us evacuate the storm.  Yet, if we ignore Him, He will remain faithful and always show us how to clean up the mess we’ve made, but we cannot allow ourselves to live in the guilt Satan brings.

In summary, we must realize a conviction is simply a warning, and guilt is a smothering, negative feeling about ourselves.  A conviction comes before we make a mistake. Once we’ve made that mistake, the Holy Spirit will be waiting to guide us out of the mess we’ve made from ignoring the warning.  While He’s guiding us out of the mess, guilt can consume us, but we must realize that these negative, taunting feelings and the thoughts that tell us, “You are no good!” are not a part of the Holy Spirit’s work in us.  Guilt comes from Satan, and we must not accept it.  Instead, we must always strive to listen the Holy Spirit—who speaks both before an ensuing storm and who continues to speak after a storm that could’ve been avoided.

The Game of Excuses:
“I didn’t make the football team because…” “I didn’t make it to the second round of auditions because…“ ”I made a bad grade on that test and I’m not very smart because…” Do these statements sound familiar to you? If they do, then you may be, like me, playing the excuse game. The excuse game is fairly simple. When we choose to play the excuse game, we are finding reasons why success never amounted in an area of our life that we could have succeeded in.

Excuses, by definition, are expressions of regret for failure to do something. I believe excuses are a very unhealthy part of life. I tend to make an excuse for a lot of things I do and don’t do. I make excuses to cover up an area in my life that I am too afraid to discuss and make an effort to progress in. I believe when we make excuses we are showing extreme weakness in an area of life.

Recently, I have lost 50 pounds. Now, the reason I was overweight had to do with something that happened when I was a child, but telling people that reason won’t help me any. That is only my excuse. It is a cover up to hide my insecurity of being overweight for so long.  Several people have asked me how I lost the weight, and I tell them, but at the end of the conversation I choose to add my excuse for being over weight. This little piece of information usually means nothing to the person I am telling because they just want to know how I lost the weight, but since I was insecure for so long, and I still am, I use this excuse. Adding that little piece of information helps me feel better. I choose to place that piece of information in someone’s mind because I fear what he or she might think of me.

The truth is, others don’t need to hear my excuse, nor do they care to. They are simply curious in knowing how I lost the weight because a lot of them would like to do the same.

Imagine, for a moment, you have been placed inside a box. Inside this box, the lid has been closed and there are four walls with a top and a bottom. The inside walls of the box have writings all over them that scream out every excuse you’ve ever had or could have. It is your choice to live in your box surrounded by your excuses, or you may choose to tear down the walls by not listening to the excuses anymore. I believe we do not have to live a life full of excuses. Excuses hold us back from becoming the person we would really like to be. They constantly put restrictions on our life.

I believe excuses cripple us. They can keep us from living life to the fullest. If we live our life with one excuse after another, we might not ever do anything astonishing because the fear of our excuse keeps us motionless in that area of life.

Think about athletes that have made it to the Olympics and only have one leg or one arm. That Olympian could have used the lack a body part as an excuse not to progress forward and succeed at their dream, but they chose to push forward. I’m sure it wasn’t always easy. At times, over coming an excuse can be difficult, but I believe setting all excuses aside makes the playing field even.

I want to encourage you to begin to examine excuses you might use on a regular basis. I was surprised at the many things that have held me back in life. Stupid excuses that scream out at me all the time, and I choose to believe them because I feel better when I do.

I hope you can learn that setting all your excuses aside means the top has been lifted off the box and the wall have come down. Now, you can see how casing success is very possible. Don’t allow excuses to hold you back from doing something amazing. If I used my weight problem to be my excuse for things for the rest of my life, I might not have ever understood my low self-esteem the way I do now. And if I didn’t understand my low self-esteem, I definitely would have kept myself locked up in my own box by choice.

Just remember, it might be difficult to set aside excuses, but if we don’t ever try, life will pass us by. Don’t allow an excuse to hold you back from an area of life where you could have thrived if you simply tried.

Love and Blessings,
Amanda Nicole

The Truth:
Truth is by far the most important thing I search for on a day-to-day basis. Truth is vital in my life because once I have a good grasp on it; my life begins to become full in an area. I never want to live a day of life without learning something new that will broaden my mind. I love to think. Thinking opens the mind to a world of new things.

I believe, as Christians, we are told not to think too much about certain issues. A lot of Christians are taught thinking too much isn’t correct because then we can begin to question God, but I have found that questions reveal truth in my life.

Today a human being only uses about 10% of his or her brain. When I learned that fact, I began to think of all the things I have missed out on learning because I have been taught not to think and question.

The main way to discover truth is to know the voice of the Holy Spirit. As I continue to become better friends with Him, He guides me into more and more truth. He reveals new revelation in my life all the time. I have allowed my mind to be open to the world around me through learning new things.

I believe truth is something we want to think we know about, but we don’t. In Christianity, I don’t get bothered too much when I find out I’m wrong in an area. If I am wrong, then I am wrong, but please, give me truth. I believe God designed this amazing world for us, but too many Christians are a living life of lies because they won’t step out. Lies that keep them bound to the fullness of life. Once we begin to incorporate truth in our life, life will begin an extraordinary journey.

I never want to stop learning truth because I believe truth is becoming harder to find. I hope today you can examine your life. Question yourself on things you’ve never really thought about before or are too scared to ask. Learn something new. Open your mind up to what the Holy Spirit is trying to show you. He is speaking through everything. We must simply pay attention to detail and listen. I promise my life has changed in more ways over the past 10 months because I began to look for truth. I have found that the truth actually changes my life, but it is truth I never believed as true.

If you have any questions or concerns about truth, feel free to ask. I can’t guarantee an answer, but I will tell you what I can, or I will try to help you find the truth.

Is there a “right way”?

Over the Christmas break my sister has had to make some decisions about her future. The career she has chosen in life isn’t an “easy” one. She is realizing, now more than ever, that she will have to work very hard to reach her dreams. One thing that I recognized in her, that I also recognize in myself, is she has a mind-set of the “right way.”

I believe a lot of people think there is a guideline for life, and one day we will finally follow it step-by-step. I believe a lot of Christians believe there is some magic formula for life, and although they might not practice it the right way, they will one day. The truth is there is no perfect plan for life.  There is no “right way” to achieve what we are trying to achieve in life. Everyone in life comes from a different background with a different mind-set. My sister’s ultimate goal is Broadway, but everyone that has made it there took different steps. Sure some of their steps might have been similar, but they weren’t the same. Their steps also were not the “right way,” but simply the way they got there.

I believe too many times we all tend to forget this. We get all caught up in the shuffle of life. It is possible to follow someone else’s steps, but that does not guarantee we will reach our goals. We must remain focused on the Holy Spirit. He is the one that will tell us and show us what to do, but we must choose.

I am discovering life is very interesting. It isn’t anything compared to what my mind perceived it to be. In some ways, it is different than I thought. The entertainment industry has shaped my mind in a very powerful way because it has caused me to think there is a “right way.” I believe if we truly want something in life we must put in the work in order to get there. We must know we want those things, and not just think we want them. When we reach those goals, we will have created a way, but simply our “own way.”

I hope that as you go throughout your week you can begin to discover the things you truly want in life. Allow the Holy Spirit to direct you and speak to you on things. Then be confident and don’t be afraid to make a move in life. My sister has made a decision that looks like it could be wrong, but she understands that her goals in life will be attainable if she begins to make her own way. She posses an amazing quality I am working on achieving. She is confident enough to step out and make a bold move. I need more of her to rub off on me because I am very sacred to make a move because I could be stepping out of the “mold” and making a mistake. The awesome thing is I am determined to become more open to my own way through the Holy Spirit, and I really hope you can too.

Love and Blessings,
Amanda Winder